Panels two and three are direct quotes from a real exchange between the two of us.¹ I don’t remember where I was ranked, but I was a member of the DCI in the early-late 1990s (see photo below) and thought, for some reason, this would impress Stephanie.
My memory is a bit hazy, but I know I was in a couple of tournaments (at least), and if those were actually DCI sanctioned or not, I couldn’t say. I keep meaning to see if my old membership number will allow me to dig up any information (which I will probably keep to myself).
I still enjoy playing Magic, but I’m not eager to start buying new cards. I enjoy building decks with the cards I already have (although, I will confess to buying some commons so I could build Stephanie a cat-themed deck so I can teach her to play. Which I still need to do, and she’s not actually reminding me to do so).
¹ No cats were dropped.