Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.
Behold, the mighty platypus.
It is as confusing as it is proud. Is it a beaver? Is it a duck? Who the hell knows? Yet, there are those among us who have the urge to hunt this prince of the Outback. If you fall into such a category, you are in luck. With the aid of the Kyjen Egg Babies Dog Toy Platypus, you can train your dog (or perhaps even, with some work, your okapi) to seek out the mighty platypus.
Just watch out for the platypusesesses’s venom. Yes, the platypus is venomous. Not poisonous. That is totally different. Venom is injected, poison is ingested. Although, if you ate platypus venom, would that make it poisonous? I don’t want to know how one would harvest platypus venom in the first place either.
The toy also comes with eggs (which squeak, like the real thing) if you would rather train your dog/okapi/unpaid intern to merely fetch unhatched platypus young. Think of all the money you save by hunting for your own platypus eggs, instead of buying them from Big Egg.
What you would do with platypus eggs, I have no idea. I suppose they could make satisfactory paperweights, but that is just one theory.
If you are on the other side of the platypus spectrum, and wish to share your love of this creature with the world, Amazon has you covered.
This sign proclaims, “Look out world! I love the noble platypus, and I shall not abide a haterpus taking my parking spot!”
Strong words, for a strong animal.
And with this lapel pin, you can have a little bit of platypus with you wherever you go.
Make it your thing-you-wear-on-all-your-stuff-like-in-Game-of-Thrones. Yes. That. People across the land will fear you, and your house. I mean, I would. When was the last time you picked up your front yard? Deer skulls shouldn’t be left laying around. Strange things can happen.
Daniel J. Hogan has never met a platypus he didn’t like. Because he has never met a platypus. Ever. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan