Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.
Believe it or not, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so you better be ready to look the part.
For those who need a festive shot in the arm, or a way to scare away annoying relatives, Amazon has a slew of Thanksgiving appropriate costumes. Because there is nothing more embarrassing than lacking a Thanksgiving costume (except, perhaps, for owning one).
As the lead photo shows, one can don the likeness of a Thanksgiving elf and scar children for life. Yes, the Pilgrim Parade Pleaser will get you into the Thanksgiving spirit, although it might cause eating challenges and prompt folks to ask about your pot of gold and/or access to firearms.
Don’t want to shell out the cash for a pair of official pilgrim shoes? No worries, just pick up a set of Pilgrim Shoe Buckles. Shake things up and use them with your favorite pair of Chucks, pumps, or Uggs. Think outside the box, and that being said, at the end of the day use more clichés. The best part? According to the product description, these shoe buckles can also be used for a witch costume. Now, that’s smart shopping.
If you want to get your pilgrim on in the casual style (or cas as the fashion blogosphere says), there is this heir apparent to the tuxedo t-shirt—the pilgrim costume t-shirt. Look stylish while you Instagram your Thanksgiving dinner. Just be careful which filter you use on the cranberry sauce. Remember kids: with many filters come many responsibilities.
Speaking of dinner, if you wish to dress up as dinner, then look no further. Just climb inside this fleece turkey costume for a bit of meal cosplay (…mosplay?). This is one way to make sure you get the kids’ table to yourself this year, which is every thirtysomething’s dream.
There’s no reason adults should have all the fun either. Amuse the Jonathan Swift fans in your family by dressing your little one in an infant turkey costume. Give the English majors in your family something to blog about besides the Oxford comma.
If your Thanksgiving dinners are anything like my family’s, then you need someone to referee (and someone to mop up the blood). Let everyone know who is in charge with this referee turkey hat. Try not to think about where your head goes though. Dignity sold separately.
Daniel J. Hogan is too much of a cheap skate to buy some dignity. Hence this website. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan.