[dc]W[/dc]hile looking over my Google Analytics page the other day, I noticed an interesting stat on my ‘visitor map.’ The darker the blue, the more readers.

google analytics

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

That’s right. Zero readers in South Dakota. I wonder why? Did I make a bad joke about Mount Rushmore? Or maybe I said something mean about pronghorns?

WAIT.

Maybe it was the time I called Rose quartz, South Dakota’s State mineral, the “Devil’s jawbreaker” in a keynote address on abacus collecting.¹

Japanese Soroban Style Abacus

I take abacus collecting SERIOUSLY. Maybe. Image via ThinkGeek.

You would think the organizers of AbaxCon ’10 would know better than to provide an open bar for keynote speakers. I don’t remember much else of the keynote address, other than a lengthy dissertation on my reoccurring nightmare of being stepped on by a giant scarab beetle² (see also: my fear of fast-moving turtles).

It seems the Mount Rushmore state can hold a grudge.

I’m sorry, South Dakota. It was just the sweet vermouth talking.

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¹.  I was on a roll. Or so they tell me.
². The result of watching Starship Troopers about 57 times.