Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards
Look out, Valentine’s Day is this weekend. Here’s some Valentine’s Day cards I made, which will guarantee you won’t have to worry about Valentine’s Day next year.
I, of course, strongly believe Evil Dead 2 is totally appropriate viewing for Valentine’s Day. Or, any day, really.
[[Title: Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards]]
[[A creepy clown with a knife.]]
Card: Roses are red, brownies are brown, have I ever mentioned my crippling fear of
[[A copy of the Necronomicon Ex Mortus from Evil Dead floats and speaks]]
Card: Roses are red, Smurfs are blue, come on over tonight, we’ll watch Evil Dead 2
Necronomicon: …Join us…
[[An eldritch horror appears in a fire covered circle.]]
Card: Roses are red, like the eyes of an eldritch horror, the one I released says [[a string of symbols]]
[[Three roast beef sandwiches]]
Card: Roses are expensive, violets are too, I bought you roast beef sandwiches, they were 3 for 2
Hovertext: 3 for 2 is a heck of a deal, really.
Daniel J. Hogan is a geeky cartoonist and writer living in Michigan. Daniel is available for freelance writing and cartooning commissions (Contact Daniel). This post contains affiliate links, unless it doesn't.