I Think My Mother Is Trying to Tell Me Something
(originally appeared on danieljhogan.com)
She means well. Photo © keyseeker on morguefile.com.
[dc]T[/dc]here are times when my mother can be as subtle as a Molotov cocktail.
On New Year’s Day, I received a phone call from my friend, Erik. He had spent the holiday in New Orleans and was calling to tell me he was now engaged to his girlfriend, Emily.¹
“I wanted to tell you personally before it went out on Facebook,” he said.
Erik had kicked off 2012 a bit better than myself, as all I had accomplished so far was getting killed by monsters in Resident Evil 4.
I still need to beat this game. Image via Amazon.
Later in the day, I called Mom and told her the news about Erik. There was a pause on her side, “Did you tell Stephanie?” [non-fiancée – Ed.]
“Yes, I sent her a text.”
Mom continued, with a noticeable growl in her voice. “Was she annoyed?”
I paused Resident Evil 4. “Huh?
“Well, before your father proposed to me, I got upset when our friends got engaged.”
I un-paused Resident Evil 4, aimed and blew the head off a not-zombie. “…Right.”
“Costco sells rings you know.”
“You don’t say.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with a pawn shop ring, either.”
On my TV, I watched Leon, the hero of Resident Evil 4, get crushed by a huge monster called El Gigante, and I could not help but envy him.
UPDATE: Only a few months later, Stephanie and I became engaged. So there.
¹ Just before Christmas, Erik texted me to ask for my address, and I jokingly inquired if they were sending out Save the Date’s. In fact, he sent me the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie Collection. More on this later.
Daniel J. Hogan is totally a mama’s boy. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan.
