[dc]I[/dc] was over at Stephanie’s the other day, and we caught the end of Star Wars: A New Hope on TV.
Photo by dmscs on morguefile.com.
The Death Star exploded, and Stephanie said, “You know, I haven’t really watched the original films all the way through as an adult.”
I clapped my hands together and sang, “I can arrange that–I have all three on VHS.”
“Why?”
“Because they are the pre-Special Edition versions. None of the extra added junk. We could do a marathon.” To my surprise, Stephanie agreed that such an attempt might be fun.
(Update: we watched the trilogy, and I wrote down some of her observations/comments)
As the medal ceremony began, I said, “There’s a film theory about why Chewie doesn’t get a medal.”
“What’s that?” Stephanie asked. She sounded like a kid staring down a doctor with a syringe.
“The theory goes, that Chewie and R2-D2 are really deep cover rebel agents, starting at the end of Revenge of the Sith.”¹
Stephanie changed the subject, “What are Wookiees supposed to be, anyway? Some kind of dog?”
I shrugged. “Or a bear, maybe. They have claws for climbing the trees on Kashyyyk.”
Stephanie ignored my planetary name-dropping and went to the Googles, her fingers a blur on the keyboard: ‘is a wookie more like a dog or a bear.’ She leaned back from her laptop, “Did you know you spell Wookiee with two E’s?” Before I could answer, “Of course you did.”
Through the magic of Wikipedia,² Stephanie learned all about Wookiees. “Wow, Chewie was really loyal and dedicated to Han Solo.”
“A Wookiee life debt is not to be taken lightly.”
Stephanie sighed. “There are times I am surprised you have ever seen a vagina.”
As the following screen capture shows, my mother shares similar concerns (this status update came about a month before I met Stephanie).
Thank you to Stephanie for finding this on my Facebook Timeline.
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¹ Here’s the full thing. I originally read about it on Cracked.
² I tried to get her to use Wookieepedia, but that was Right Out.
Daniel J. Hogan will take his VHS copies of Star Wars with him to the grave. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan.
