[dc]E[/dc]very character in Ocarina of Time really hates Link. They must.
I mean, the guy keeps messin’ with the properties of time and space. How could that not be annoying? First it’s morning, then it’s night, then it’s morning again. (“Dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!”)
The Ocarina of Time Warp
After I learned the Sun Song, I could summon night and day, like a talking can of Mountain Dew luring Honey Boo Boo. Granted, for the sake of gameplay Hyrule’s time is not ‘real time,’ and thank Batman for that.
I realize the sped up timeline is a necessary game mechanic, otherwise one would have to spend hours of game time waiting for day or night to arrive in Ocarina of Time. However, this would make the Sun Song even more valuable.
I’m glad I went through all the grave robbing (yes) to learn the Sun Song, as it makes traveling around in Ocarina of Time considerably easier. But, on some level, I feel sorry for the NPCs* of Ocarina of Time. I keep changing time around—first it is day, then I make it night, only to make it day again a few moments later.
To quote myself, “Think of the ramifications!”
“I’m off to work,” says an unassuming Hyrulian mason to his wife.
“Don’t forget to pick Junior up after archery class,” says Mrs. Hyrulian mason.
Nearby, in the field, Link plays the Sun Song, and turns dawn into night.
“What the hell?” says the mason. “I missed work! …I think. Wasn’t it dawn a minute ago?”
His wife comes running out. “What about Junior? You never picked him up!”
Junior comes running outside too, “But, I never left!”
Mother grabs the boy by a pointed ear, “How dare you skip class! It isn’t free you know!”
Not far away, Link plays the Sun Song once more, causing the Sun to appear. The Hyrulian mason scratches his head, “What day is it? What happened?” A few plays of the Sun Song later, and the mason gets a note from his boss saying he was fired for missing a week of work, even though it has probably only been about ten minutes.
I gotta think the husbands and boyfriends in Hyrule hate the guy: think of how many birthdays and anniversaries they forget during a week, let alone a month.
All Fairies Great and Small But Especially the Great
So. The Great Fairies. I have only come across two so far, but they are…interesting. And curvy (which is saying something for a game made up of 3D blocks).
Reminds me of that scene in Cabin Boy. Two of you know what I’m talking about. Image © Nintendo
Steph summed up my meeting with the Great Fairy on top of Death Mountain as: “What’s with all the crotch shots and weird camera angles?” and “That’s too many close-ups for so little clothing.”
Yes, unlike the nondescript orbs of light that represent Navi and her kind, in comparison, the Great Fairies look like something out of a Franzetta painting.³
The Great Fairy at the Hyrule Castle, who gave me the Din’s Fire spell, was almost always in a Downward Facing Dog position.
Ocarina of Time was meant as a game for kids, right?
The Third Link
Another perk of learning songs is getting free milk from cows.
Yeah, you heard me.
Epona’s Song makes cows give up the goods like lobbyists before a vote. I wish there was a way to sell said milk in the game, because I could turn quite the profit. In no time at all, I would become Hyrule’s version of Harry Lime, selling black market milk in the back alleys and such.
I wonder if Ocarina of Time has cuckoo clocks?²
I know one thing, Ocarina of Time has a cow in a hole. And another in a jail. What a game!
Next in Finally Finishing Ocarina of Time: Inside the Belly of Jabu-Jabu! (a big friggin’ whale-god-hippo-thing)
Previously: Every Ocarina of Time post.
Affiliate Shout-out: Today’s Gold Box and Lightning Deals on Amazon
(Buy something, Daniel gets a % with no extra cost to you)
–
¹ That’s Non Player Characters for you Normals
² Blessed Mother of Context, don’t fail me now.
³ Don’t get me wrong, Frank Franzetta is one of my favorite artists.
