[dc]I[/dc]n Ocarina of Time, you learn plenty of lessons: talking owls are annoying, talking fairies are annoying, and be careful about accepting magic stones from fish-girls.
However, the most important lesson might be the value of long term investments.
Beans, Beans the Magical Investment
I also buy gold. Image © Nintendo.
During my travels, I came across a fellow selling magic beans. Knowing investing in magic bean futures as a child might pay off as an adult, I decided to take a shot.
Sure, Link is locked away for seven years in a creepy cave with an old guy watching him sleep before the magic bean investments bear fruit (…or legumes, I guess). But, it was worth the up front cost. Pay attention, kids! This game is trying to teach you something, and more than that you can remove whale parasites with a boomerang.
The magic bean side-quest is certainly a more entertaining way to learn about investments than the clunky Warren Buffett‘s A Boy and His Portfolio: Trouble on Capitalgainsia.
Let’s Play Wake the Dead
Link spends plenty of time rooting around graveyards, looking for goodies in Hyrule. I wonder if there was an uptick in grave-robbing after Ocarina of Time was released? Worse still is Dampe, the Kakariko gravedigger, making a bit of side income off would-be graverobbers under the guise of a late night cemetery ‘tour.’ Said tour has you paying Dampe to stop and dig holes in the graveyard, in hopes of finding treasure. I guess in some way, this is a sort of proto-poorman’s (…poor elf’s?) version of a metal detector.
All I know is, last time I tried that at the local graveyard, I had a bunch of ‘splainin’ to do at the police station.
At least the game doesn’t show Link breaking open coffins and prying gold rings off cold, dead hands. Although, there is the part where Link sneaks inside the Royal tomb. Yikes.
Ocarina of Time Pro Tip: Don’t Bomb Cuccos
Cuccos. The feathery scourge of Hyrule. Sure, they look cute, and sound cute, but they are deadly. I accidentally set off a bomb next to a Cucco, and all Hell broke loose. The Cucco loosed a thunderous caw, and its brothers and sisters flew to its side.
Then the little bastards gave chase, pecking young Link’s tender flesh with their stoney beaks. It was all I could do to escape their wrath before dying. How embarrassing would that be? “Death by Cucco,” I’m ashamed just thinking such a thing.
Ya Done Goofed, Link
I returned to the Temple of Time with all three Spiritual Stones and played the Song of Time with my brand new Ocarina of Time (which is better than an Ocarina of Loneliness). But first I stopped by the Restroom of Time, followed by the Drinking Fountain of Time, and…
Sorry.
Upon opening The Door of (sigh) Time, things get wacky. Ganondorf shows up, and pretty much says “Thanks, buddy!”
Apparently, Link’s questing for the Spiritual Stones was exactly what Ganondorf wanted. He knew Link would return to the Temple of Time and open the Door of Time, and made his move. Of time.
Then, Link wakes up seven years later. Meanwhile, Hyrule has gone down the toilet, now that Ganondorf has the Triforce—which is all Link’s fault.
So now, Link has to save Hyrule from Ganondorf’s tyranny—which Link was responsible for in the first place. I think. It gets kind of confusing here. Link was put under for seven years because he wasn’t enough of a man to take on Ganondorf in the past. Well yeah, Link was like, what? Seven? Ten?
I do enjoy time jumps like this in video games, like in Final Fantasy VI, with the World of Ruin section. This portion of Ocarnia of Time is similar—years have passed, everything sucks, the bad guy runs the show (there’s a political joke in there somewhere).
There are upsides to Link waking up seven years later. Namely, he can ride a horse. Plus, all four of his girlfriends are older, so I get to see how those storylines play out.
The ladies loved Link as a kid, but will they feel the same way now that he is older?
Next in Finally Finishing Ocarina of Time: The Search For More Stuff
Previously: Every Ocarina of Time post.
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