[dc]I[/dc]t isn’t a secret I’m a cheap skate. Exhibit A: One time I duct taped a hockey stick to a broken lamp, instead of just buying a new lamp (hey, it still worked).
Photo via The Commons on Flickr.
So, it should come as no surprise I am trying to save a few bucks when it comes to wedding planning. I’m strongly against extravagances at our wedding, like chair covers, cloth napkins, and letting people bring dates. Stephanie won’t let me cut every corner however, meaning now we actually have to feed our guests. Sigh. I hope our wedding guests enjoy Lunchables and Faygo Rock & Rye.¹
I brainstormed ideas to help combat this cost of feeding and watering guests at our wedding, and since canned meat is out of the question,² I needed to get creative.
I thought, What about sponsorships?
Originally, I kicked around the idea of crowd-sourcing the reception (allowing us to upgrade to Dinnerables and Royal Crown Cola), but at that point I might as well just charge admission. Some folks might frown on paying admission for a wedding and buying a gift as well. Hey, if politicians can sell tickets to fundraiser dinners for hundreds, or thousands, of dollars a plate, why not a wedding? At least at a wedding the couple won’t make empty promises about tax breaks or fixing the roads.³
Then, inspiration.
Ad spots, on my wedding suit. Similar to a NASCAR driver’s fire suit, I would sell patches for sponsors. The back of my suit would go for more, as the crowd would see that area the most during the ceremony. I could even don a different jacket for the reception.
Sure, years from now, the kids might click through my whatever-replaces-Facebook albums and ask, “Dad, why is your wedding suit covered with light beer slogans and painless dentistry ads?”
I’ll tent my cyborg fingers (remember, this is in the future) and simply answer, “So your mother could have cloth napkins and chair covers.”
Love is all about sacrifice.
And being willing to wear a Hamburgler costume if McDonald’s covered the bill for the wedding and our honeymoon, no questions asked (reception entertainment? Daft Punk).
I would totally wear this if McDonald’s paid for EVERYTHING. Image via Amazon and © original source.
Maybe I should see if Burger King will counter offer. Wearing a crown at your wedding would be pretty great, and no one could see my tears (of joy) under the mask.
It’s good to be the king, even if that is the passive voice. Image via Amazon and © original source.
Hey Wendy’s, I’m not above wearing red pigtails and a dress to my wedding either—especially if you bought us a house and paid off my student loans.
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¹. Jokes aside, I love me some Faygo. Especially Rock & Rye.
². Yes, even unicorn meat.
³. Insert jaded joke about marriage.
