Clattertron

[dc]A[/dc]re you ready for Halloween? More importantly, is YOUR DOG ready for Halloween? You better hope so, pal. Ain’t nothin’ sadder than a pooch with a last-minute-slapped-together Halloween Costume. Lucky for you, I have a brand new list of Halloween dog costumes I found on Amazon (the first, the second). These costumes will turn heads—in the direction of the nearest exit.

Fake Boobs + Dog = Halloween Gold

To butcher a phrase, “If you stare into abyss, the abyss stares back into you,” which is how I feel when I look at this Snooki-tastic Halloween dog costume (sure). I just. Uh. Man. When did ‘sexy’ dog costumes become a thing for Halloween? It must be Snooki, right? Who else could it be? David Lee Roth in drag?

Happy Halloween, Mr. Dog President

If you want your dog to go for classic sexy this Halloween, there is this Marilyn Monroe inspired dog costume, heaving cleavage and all. Dress another dog up as Joe DiMaggio–hey, here’s a baseball player costume–and you’ll be the life of the party. Or the first agenda item at the next Neighborhood Association meeting. Good luck finding a dog sized Arthur Miller costume though.

A Pointed Halloween Costume Argument

For fans of the 1980s, all six of you, there is this Madonna inspired Halloween dog costume. Use caution when picking your dog up though, otherwise you might lose an eye. Or two. Of course, Like a Virgin takes on a whole new meaning when you are fixed. Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, and Guy Ritchie costumes sold separately.

A Costume for a New Age of Halloween

If Madonna is too old hat for younger doggie parents, dress a dog up as Her Second Coming with this Lady Gaga inspired Halloween costume. Because [obligatory terrible Poker Face and/or Bad Romance play on words joke], AMIRIGHT? Skip the meat dress, because most dogs will just eat the dang thing, which is a waste of perfectly good dead interns.

For the Proud Bavarian Dog Parents

While the dog costumes above lean more toward the racy side, here is a Halloween costume that churches things up a tad. Assuming dressing a dog up as a beer wench in a backwards dress is your idea of classy. If’n it is, then you are totally invited to my Halloween party. Now the real trick: teaching your dog to serve beer and how to properly drink from a das boot beer glass.

Today’s Amazon Deals and ThinkGeek Deals
Affiliate Plug: Amazon Halloween Shop

Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.