Amazon Enigmas: Valentine’s Day Chocolates
[dc]G[/dc]et out your wallets, Valentine’s Day is this week. Show your love the American Way™ through the power of buying. Don’t know what to get your sweetie for Valentine’s Day? Here’s a list of interesting chocolates I found on Amazon.
Obligatory ‘Bone to Pick’ Valentine’s Day Joke
Yorick sure was sweet. Image via Amazon.
Dan Aykroyd has his skull vodka, which is a great gift the other 364 days of the year (ideally enjoyed in responsible moderation from a horn goblet while sitting on a throne of bone). For Valentine’s Day, consider a Chocolate Skull. Yes, a skull made of milk chocolate which is totally edible. Sure, it is $549.99 plus shipping, but imagine the look on your sweetie’s face when they open the gift box containing five pounds of chocolate skull.
Obligatory ‘Nothing Butt the Best’ Valentine’s Day Joke
Maybe I will skip this year. Image via Amazon.
While you are shopping for chocolate body parts, consider the other end of the spectrum, or should I say, body (although the opposite end of the skull might be the feet, but chocolate feet are just gross). The perfect Valentine’s Day gift this year just might be a chocolate butt. Put an end to your Valentine’s Day shopping with this cheeky—UGH, I’m sorry. I just can’t.
“You Bred Chocolate Raptors?”
EGG-cellent gift D: Image via Amazon.
If chocolate skulls and butts don’t appeal to your Valentine, consider a chocolate dinosaur egg. It’s chocolate, and has dinosaurs. What could go wrong? There’s no way the chocolate dinos could rise up and try to eat you. Even if they did, their chocolate teeth would probably melt. Eventually. Now there’s a movie I wanna see: a mash-up of Jurassic Park and Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (who am I kidding? They are basically the same movie).
When in Doubt: Bacon
Chocolate covered bacon! Image via Amazon.
Bacon is a good ‘fall back’ gift for most folks, even on Valentine’s Day. What’s better? Chocolate-covered bacon. Now there’s a Valentine’s Gift—and it probably won’t get you nearly as many nights on the couch as a chocolate butt.
Today’s Amazon Deals
Affiliate Plug: Valentine’s Day Chocolates on Amazon
Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills (privacy policy and disclaimer). But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.
