Clattertron

[dc]L[/dc]ast week, I loosed a volley of nigh-disturbing Halloween costumes for dogs available for purchase on Amazon.

Well, here we go again. Kicking off this round is a Dora the Explorer Halloween costume for your favorite dog (or maybe your least favorite?). As the photo shows, you dog will be pleased as punch to prance around dressed as its favorite cartoon character. It even comes with a backpack, so you can stow away your dog’s dignity.

And here is another fine example of the ‘make a dog look like a person’ line of Halloween costumes, the Star Wars Princess Leia model—complete with hair buns! I’m just thankful there isn’t a Princess Leia Slave Outfit model for dogs.

Don’t let the football fans in your life feel left out on Halloween either. That’s right, dress your dog in this Football Fever get up to really get people talking. And by talking, I mean calling the nearest booby hatch. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess those flat football feet ain’t the best for walking.

Now, this costume seems like a recipe for disaster. This Woopie Cushion Halloween costume dresses your dog as something which is routinely sat upon for the sake of a practical joke (as oppose to a metaphorical joke). If you have a small dog, this could really pose a problem, especially if folks at your party have really been hitting the cider and candy corn. Exercise caution with this one, or you could be minus one pooch and plus one giant stain on your couch.

Speaking of causing confusion. Your dog’s life is pretty much forfeit in this bacon Halloween costume, at least around most folks I know. Don’t think running away will make people not want the bacon any less, no sir. It’ll just make ’em want it more (“Free range bacon!”).

I don’t know what it is about dog owners wanting to adorn their furry pals in crazy outfits.

Maybe because the dogs can’t talk back? And if the dog sees itself in the mirror wearing such a thing, it might just think it is another dog? “Yikes, look at that poor sucker.”

[Alternate, but far worse joke: “Yikes, look at that poor sucker. He sure has it ruff!”]

Although, if I had to guess, it might be along the same lines of why mothers dress up their young children in ridiculous outfits: because they can. There are photos of my infant self in a sailor suit which contribute to such a hypothesis.

Why I wore a sailor suit at age 13, however, is a different hypothesis altogether.

Today’s Amazon Deals and ThinkGeek Deals
Affiliate Plug: Dog Halloween Costumes on AmazonClattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items.