Clattertron

[dc]A[/dc] classy dog deserves a classy dog carrier. As the saying goes, dogs are Man’s best friend. True enough (although whisky is a close second).

As such, a best friend deserves to be carried around in style. History is full of examples: Master astride the shoulders of Blaster, C-3PO enjoying the comfort of Chewbacca’s fuzzy back, and the 2003-2004 Calgary Flames supported by an Atlas-like Miikka Kiprusoff.

Man’s best friend deserves nothing but the best. Thankfully, Amazon has several options for classy dog carriers (images link to product pages on Amazon).

“Has the poor tried *not* being poor?” mused Countess Fluffy. Image via Amazon and © original source.

Behold the Susan Lanci angora Leopard faux fur dog carrier (deep breath). For only $769.00 (plus $12.49 shipping?!), your darling pooch can join you on the balcony as you laugh at the poor. I mean…go out for a latte. Sure. Never mind this ‘dog carrier’ costs more than my monthly rent, student loan payment, and utility bills COMBINED.

“Hi, I’m Dog-Purse.” Image via Amazon and © original source.

If you are more in favor of masquerading your pooch as a purse, there is the Petote Metro Couture dog carrier. At 27% off, how could you not? It is only $323.31, and has free shipping (made in the USA too). Pretend your purse is alive, or just keep your dog  at the appropriate level in a crowd: around butt height.

“I’m Dog-Purse’s evil twin: Purse-Dog.” Image via Amazon and © original source.

If you want a dog carrier that comes in black, and want to save $2.06, there is another Petote Metro dog carrier for only $321.25. This is the Midnight model, and works best with a white dog—contrast, you know. Match this dog carrier with your ‘little black dress’ or Batman costume, and get plenty of looks as people wonder why you have a dog head glued to your purse.

“Now carry me around the block a few more times. That squirrel is back.” Image via Amazon and © original source.

Let’s say you are like me: a cheap skate. But, a cheap skate who can’t be bothered to make his dog walk and needs his hands free for…fighting off ninja or zombie beavers (IT COULD HAPPEN). At $38.99 (with free shipping!), the Outward Hound Legs Out dog carrier is right up my alley. My cheap, cheap alley. Now, I can show off my dog, if I had one, while keeping my hands free to find out why the birds are angry. We live in the future people: embrace it.

Keep in mind, the Outward Hound Legs Out model only holds dogs under 10 pounds. Sorry Lord Grantham, guess that means Isis will have to walk. How undignified.

Affiliate Shout-out: Today’s Gold Box and Lightning Deals on Amazon

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Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.