Amazon Enigmas: Cats, Kittens, and Unicorns
[dc]M[/dc]agic is all around us. Need proof? Browse the cornucopia of unicorn merchandise available on Amazon. Or take a hot shower, as indoor plumbing is pretty dang magical if you ask me. Cat and kittens are also magical and are probably loved as much as unicorns, give or take. I don’t have the Advanced Stats to prove such a comparison, but based on the my Facebook and Twitter timelines, I would it is a fairly even split.
Cat and Unicorn Lovers, Come Together
If you can’t separate your love, nay devotion, for cats and unicorns, don’t fight it. CELEBRATE BOTH. We live in a New Age, as shown by this cat unicorn poster.
Once bitter enemies, now feline and unicorn live in unity (…unicornity?).
Protect Your Dog with the Power of Unicorns
If you lean more toward the canine/unicorn unicornity side of the scale, there are products for you too. The next time Spike goes for a play date at the dog park, broadcast to the world how your beloved pooch is protected by unicorns.
I don’t think this protective spell woven into the threads of this material works on humans though. I wore a similar shirt to an Air Supply show and woke up in the hospital three days later. The unicorns failed me. This is what I get for treating Legend as an educational film.
Magical Unicorn Leggings
For those wishing to show off their love of unicorns in the proper spot, their legs, here are a couple of options. First, if you don’t want to pull the trigger on those real unicorn leg tattoos, you can try these transparent unicorn tattoo leggings. Perfect for prom, a great uncle’s funeral, or Big Brother audition.
These won’t work for me, unless I spent a few grand on laser hair removal for my legs, or get a 20-gallon tub of Nair. The upside is, I can make a Teen Wolf costume with little investment (I just need a headband).
Here’s the other option for those wanting to festoon their legs with effigies of unicorns (and why not?): iHeartRaves Unicorn Leggings.
The swirling magical cosmos around the crotch area is just an extra bonus. For those keeping score at home, there is a prancing unicorn on each leg, for a total of two (or Too, if you want to keep the Teen Wolf gag going).
Be a Cat and Human Version of Master Blaster from Mad Max
Now, here’s something for the fellow who loves cats–because why should unicorns hog the spotlight? With this kitty overalls t-shirt, a guy can pretend what it would be like to carry around a giant kitten, as some sort of human-marsupial hybrid–which most guys dream about I’m sure.
Or maybe that’s just me after finishing a bottle of expired cough syrup while watching Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
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Clattertron takes part in the Amazon Affiliate program to help pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Amazon Enigmas puts a humorous spotlight on some of the site’s more quirky items. Images lead to the item’s page on Amazon.