Amazon Enigmas: Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Him and Her

by on February 7, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Amazon Enigmas, Blog, Humor

[dc]H[/dc]eads up. Valentine’s Day is next week–have you bought any gifts yet?

Sure, our significant others shame us into buying gifts every year, but that doesn’t mean there is cause for dread. Have fun. Be creative. Other marketing terms. And so on. If you are struggling with what to give your prison penpal true love this Valentine’s Day, Amazon has a few interesting options.

gold rose valentine's day gift

One please. Image via Amazon and © original source.

Flowers are always a great standby for Valentine’s Day, but let’s be honest: watching cut flowers slowly fade, wither, and die is all kinds of depressing. Why give someone a reminder of their vanishing mortality? This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of a 24K 10-Inch Gold Foil Rose. Not only is it gold, but it lasts FOREVER. Skip the harvested dying flower this year, and get something that will last longer than the entire run of The Simpsons.

Continue Reading

└ Tags: , , , , ,

On J. J. Abrams Directing Star Wars VII

by on February 6, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Blog

[dc]L[/dc]ike many Star Wars geeks, I waited and waited to find out who would direct Star Wars VII for Disney. When I heard J. J. Abrams got the job, I nearly fainted.

solo frozen

Yeah, I felt like that. Image © ClaudioT on morguefile.com.

OK, that is an exaggeration. I was happy with the choice. Abrams was on my director wish-list for Star Wars VII, although probably at about number four or so.

My director wish list went like this:

  1. Joss Whedon (Avengers, Serenity)
  2. Brad Bird (Iron Giant, Incredibles, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol)
  3. Guillermo del Torro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Pacific Rim)
  4. J. J. Abrams (Star Trek)
  5. Duncan Jones (Moon)

Abrams is a good choice.
Continue Reading

└ Tags: , , , , ,

Ocarina of Time, Pt. 5: Ocarina of Time Time

by on February 5, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Blog, Humor

[dc]I[/dc]n Ocarina of Time, you learn plenty of lessons: talking owls are annoying, talking fairies are annoying, and be careful about accepting magic stones from fish-girls.

However, the most important lesson might be the value of long term investments.

Beans, Beans the Magical Investment

ocarina of time magic beans

I also buy gold. Image © Nintendo.

During my travels, I came across a fellow selling magic beans. Knowing investing in magic bean futures as a child might pay off as an adult, I decided to take a shot.

Sure, Link is locked away for seven years in a creepy cave with an old guy watching him sleep before the magic bean investments bear fruit (…or legumes, I guess). But, it was worth the up front cost. Pay attention, kids! This game is trying to teach you something, and more than that you can remove whale parasites with a boomerang.

The magic bean side-quest is certainly a more entertaining way to learn about investments than the clunky Warren Buffett‘s A Boy and His Portfolio: Trouble on Capitalgainsia.
Continue Reading

└ Tags: , , , , ,

Amazon Enigmas: Live Insects, Dinosaurs, Giant Camera Lenses and More

by on January 30, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Amazon Enigmas, Blog, Humor

[dc]O[/dc]ne of my biggest fears is having a boring living room.

How dreadful, what would the neighbors think, and so on.

If I ever get around to inviting friends over, I want them to think did he stop taking his pills?, this guy has Excitement’s number. Sure, a life-size Yeti statue might be Good Enough for most, but not for me. Even though I love the Yeti statue, it left my living room feeling a bit…unbalanced.

Good thing I can get a Parasaurolophus statue on Amazon (thanks to Rick B for the link).

dinosaur statue on amazon.

I’ll name it Mr. Pickles. Image via Amazon and © original source.

A steal at only $2,750, this sweet baby is the perfect addition to any living room, front yard, or insanity plea. Plus, that crazy head makes for a good scarf holder, which is reason enough to pick one up. (images link to product pages on Amazon)

Remember fellas: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and nothing says “Be Mine” like a life-size statue of an extinct animal (or dinner at White Castle. Either is good.)

Continue Reading

└ Tags: , , , , ,