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About Me

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I’m a cartoonist who lives in Lansing, Michigan. Visit my shop to buy original art and more. Follow me on Instagram, @danieljhoganart.

My Books


Check out my fantasy-humor novel, The Magic of Eyri.
magic of eyri book by daniel j hogan
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Walt Disney World Honeymoon: The Flight Down; Groceries; Coffee; Dinner at Boma

by Daniel J. Hogan on November 19, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Blog, News

[dc]I[/dc] don’t enjoy flying, but our Disney World honeymoon required a plane. I long for teleportation to become a reality. And talking robot dogs (see: Rush, K9, Dynomutt).

disney bus

Stephanie gave me that look A LOT on our Disney honeymoon. Photo by me, duh. Taken with my 50mm lens.

Drink the Friendly Skies

I will fly, of course. Flying just leaves me a wreck for the rest of the day. Flights are easier to handle in my thirties than my teens though, because I can order booze. Even at 10 o’clock in the morning (God bless America). Sure, $7 for a micro-bottle of Dewar’s Scotch might seem much, but between paying $7 for Scotch, or a can of Bud Light, Scotch always wins.

“What are you doing?” Stephanie asked as I scooped the ice from the plastic cup accompanying my micro-Scotch into my water bottle.

Me: “I want my Scotch neat.”

Stephanie: “Just drink it out of the mini-bottle.”

Me: “It is probably bad enough I’m drinking Scotch at 10 AM, drinking out of the bottle won’t look too good. Think of the CHILDREN.”

I swirled a small puddle of Scotch around the plastic cup as Stephanie shook her head and went back to reading Ender’s Game.

I Can’t Hear You and I Love It

This time around, I brought a secret weapon for the flight (besides whisky): Noise cancelling headphones. Yes, I bit the bullet and bought a pair of Bose QuietComfort 15’s.

bose noise cancelling headphones

The sweet sound of silence. Photo via Amazon.

I already love my Bose noise-cancelling headphones on terra firma,¹ and they worked better than I hoped on the airplane. Instead of suffering through two hours of airplane engines and screaming kids, I caught up on episodes of Marek vs. Wyshynski (an NHL podcast). Other times, I listened to my instrumental playlist as background music while reading Fellowship of The Ring.

Hockey and Tolkien: what could be better?

Continue Reading

└ Tags: autobio, disney, disney world, honeymoon, photography, photos, steph, travel

Amazon Enigmas: Thanksgiving Costumes, Hats, Masks, and Ties

by Daniel J. Hogan on November 13, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Amazon Enigmas, Blog, Humor

[dc]A[/dc]re you ready for another Thanksgiving? (Not to be confused with Another Stakeout) There is still time to find the perfect Thanksgiving costume to impress the family over dinner or while they are running away from you.

Let us carve out some tasty Thanksgiving costume…um…cranberries. I mean findings. Yes. You will be STUFFED full of options. Right. (You can always check out last year’s post too)

Everyone Loves a Giant Headless Thanksgiving Turkey

thanksgiving turkey costume

Not a headless golden goose. IF ONLY. Photo via Amazon.

Anyone can dress up as a giant living turkey (see last year’s Thanksgiving post). We’ve all seen it. Heck, I see it all the time, and the voices assure me it isn’t my medication. However, it takes a special chemilcally unbalanced person to dress up as a Giant Headless Thanksgiving Turkey. The kids will LOVE it. Or at least they will love describing it to their therapists.

Obligatory ‘A Modest Proposal’ Joke Headline

baby thanksgiving costume

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Dinner.” Photo by Amazon.

Speaking of things kids love, they sure as dragonfire love dressing up as a meal—especially babies. Never mind the fact the baby looks like a turkey-human hybrid (related: I miss The X-Files). Yes, this Thanksgiving Turkey Baby Costume will look great in everyone’s Facebook feed, and won’t cause a single person to click I Don’t Want to See This.

Continue Reading

└ Tags: amazon enigmas, holidays, humor, shopping, thanksgiving

Walt Disney World Honeymoon: Wild Africa Trek at Disney’s Animal Kingdom

by Daniel J. Hogan on November 12, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Blog, News

[dc]W[/dc]hen deciding what to do on our Disney World honeymoon, besides drinking by the pool, Stephanie and I looked at the different tours the parks offered. The Wild Africa Trek at Disney’s Animal Kingdom caught our eyes.

animal kingdom wild africa trek

“Hey buddy, toss me a sammich!” Photo by Disney.

Animal Kingdom, Where Animals Rule

Stephanie and I love Disney’s Animal Kingdom. I know it isn’t the most popular of the Walt Disney World parks—which is a shame. Disney’s Animal Kingdom features, I think, some of the best theming in all the Disney World parks (more on this in future posts, with photos).

The Wild Africa Trek is a 3-hour trip through the Africa section of Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

From the Disney World website:

 See yawning hippos and hissing crocodiles just 10 feet below as you make your way across a shaky rope bridge, secured to an overhead track with a safety harness. Ride in a rugged safari vehicle over an open savanna teeming with native African creatures, from towering giraffes to powerful rhinos.

On your journey, your knowledgeable guide will share little-known insights on the majestic animals on view as well as the general operation of Disney’s Animal Kingdom park.

Yep, we wore harnesses and everything. Adventure! Continue Reading

└ Tags: animal kingdom, autobio, disney, disney world, honeymoon, photography, photos, steph, travel, wedding

Blockbuster Video, RIP

by Daniel J. Hogan on November 7, 2013 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Blog, Humor

[dc]I[/dc] planned another Disney World honeymoon post for today, but after reading about Blockbuster closing its remaining stores on /Film, I decided my photos of Disney World trash cans could wait another day. You see, I worked at a Blockbuster Video store, off and on, for about five years during college (roughly 2000 through 2005)—and I have a few stories worth sharing. Travel back with me, to the early 2000s: VHS was still popular, DVD was the new kid on the block, and online streaming video was the stuff of Star Trek.

star wars empire vhs

The Force will be with you, but only if you Rewind. Photo by me.

Blockbuster Subterfuge: I Didn’t Check Your Movie in Late

I can’t tell you how many times a customer, angry about a late fee, accused me of ‘hiding’ their tape and purposely checking it in a few minutes late. Here’s a secret: the due time was a hoax. Our computer didn’t start checking movies in late until an hour (if not longer) after the posted due time.

So, if your local Blockbuster Video said that copy of MVP: Most Valuable Primate was due at noon, the computer didn’t count it in late until at least 1 o’clock PM.

“I Don’t Want to Read.”

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon received a lot of attention when it came out on home video, and my Blockbuster had many VHS copies for rent. There was one snag though: all the VHS copies featured subtitles.

To put this into context: DVDs were a high-end novelty at this time (DVD players at this time were still close to $200). VHS was still the go-to home viewing medium—but didn’t have the English dubbing option like the handful of DVDs in the store.

Subtitles aren’t a problem for me, but they sure were for most of our customers—who ignored the ‘Subtitles’ sticker on the box. “I don’t want to read,” became a constant excuse for angry customers returning copies an hour, or less, later for a different rental.

“I don’t want to read,” and refunds became so frequent, my store made cashiers tell every customer who approached the counter with a VHS copy of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon about the subtitles. Despite the film receiving all kinds of awards, most customers quickly changed their mind and rented a different film.

Blockbuster Logic: Less Is More and People Want What They Can’t Have

Not all films on the Blockbuster wall were equal: some films had more rental copies than others. Time and time again, I noticed something: to customers, a new release’s lack of rental copies equaled quality or importance. If all the copies were gone, the film HAD to be good, right?

Customers walked past a wall FULL of The Royal Tenenbaums, to fight over the single copy of Eye See You starring Sylvester Stallone. Customers asked when Eye See You was coming back, and if we could hold it for them. Or, “Can you check the drop box for Eye See You?” Seriously. They knew nothing about the film, but it was always gone, so it HAD to be good. Continue Reading

└ Tags: autobio, film, geek stuff, humor, media, pop culture, technology, tv
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